Radical Kindness What’s Angela Santomero’s Secret To Success?

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Angela Santomero wanted to be a teacher. Then she had a thought: “Wouldn’t it be awesome to use the influential nature of media to educate kids?” And, off she embarked on a journey into creating children’s media.

She forever left her mark on children’s TV with the launch of the iconic Nickelodeon animated show Blue’s Clues, where she was co-creator, executive producer and head writer. She then continued to light up the minds of kids everywhere with her hit TV show, Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood on PBS Kids.

Angela is a Peabody award-winner and 25-time Emmy nominee. She’s also chief creative officer of 9 Story media group. Now she’s out to leave a different kind of print on the world with her new book out this month, Radical Kindness: The Life-Changing Power of Giving and Receiving. It’s based off of her approach to living a healthier, more peaceful life.

“Kindness is at the foundation of every show I write. It’s how I approach my life, and it’s a world I want to live in,” Angela says. Kindness is an unsung hero and an invisible super power. It’s backed in science and research. It lowers stress levels and therefore helps cardiac health.”

Read on to hear Angela talk about the benefits of radical kindness, her honesty about feeling she has imposter syndrome and the inspiration for her hit TV shows. Then pick up a copy of her book to see why Deepak Chopra says (in the foreword), “Radical kindness is an important antidote to the poisonous times we are living in, and we can’t look to others to remedy things for us. Radical kindness begins with you. Realizing this has enough energy to revolutionize the way you live. Let Angela’s book help you to see how.”

What is your approach to creativity?

Creative first, and if there is a debate, then kids win. We know kids; we know what they love and what they need and then we play. Creativity is play at its best!

What is a day in the life of Angela like? How do you divide your time?

This is such a hard question! When I write and create I need to dedicate at least a whole day, sans meetings. It’s how I can recharge and think bigger about things.

Meetings are great for collaboration, but I believe in a creative-vision-first approach when it comes to content. So, the writing and big picture thinking needs time to percolate before and after discussions.

I also like to be home for dinner and spend time with the family. My girls are already 18 and 15 so time seems so fleeting!

How did you develop/co-create Blue’s Clues? What inspired you to develop a show so imaginary and exciting for children?

Blue’s Clues was a game show! It was an “experiment” to see if we could have kids learn by interacting with our characters. That’s why we ask kids at home so many questions — they are a main character in our show. Our goal was to create characters that kids will LOVE and to teach everything a preschooler needs to learn before they get to kindergarten.

Then, after Blue’s Clues, how did you come up with the idea for Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood?

I was the hugest Mister Rogers fan, so I was honored and thrilled (and terrified!) to promote Fred’s legacy and create a new show. I got to know Fred because we both studied child development and we both got into media to make it better. Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood is exactly how I played the show as a preschooler — all of the friends from the Neighborhood of Make Believe grew up and had preschoolers of their own. Of course, a preschool Daniel Tiger had to be the star! He was Fred’s first puppet, and my favorite!

Angela Santomero 2 I Want Her Job

What gave you the idea to do a different kind of writing, this time with your just-released book, Radical Kindness?

If we look at the world with kindness, we find the good in people and the world. We can also listen better, collaborate more and have better relationships. We can also focus on passion and intrinsic motivation vs. perfection and anxiety. I believe we need to shout about kindness from the rooftops and all pivot toward kindness if we want to see the change we want to make.

How would you describe the concept “radical kindness”?

It’s seeing with your heart vs. simply seeing with our eyes. It’s leading with compassion, empathy and love vs. hate, anger and scare tactics. It’s finding a peaceful resolution where people are heard and accepted for who they are and what they bring to the world. It’s being vulnerable and real and always learning vs. searching for perfection. When kindness is at the root of all we do, we can make radical change.

What lesson do you hope a reader walks away with after finishing your book?

I hope readers and viewers of my PBS Pledge Show, The Power of Radical Kindness (check local listings) adopt radical kindness as a practice and incorporate it into their everyday lives. Just a little bit can go a long way. Think about how a tiny tack can take down a whole car. On the positive side, a tiny bit of kindness can change you and the world for the better.

As a mom of two, what tips do you have for fellow working moms?

Ask for help! It’s actually also a tenet of Radical Kindness. Asking for help doesn’t show weakness, it is imperative to our self-care. We can’t do it all. It’s a myth! I ask for help from other parents, my husband, my kids and outside help, as needed.

Radical Kindness I Want Her Job

What is something about the work you do that might surprise us?

I still feel like an “imposter” – even after creating eight shows. Every new idea I have, every new show or script I write, I bite my fingernails waiting for feedback on it.

What is an area of your business that is particularly exciting at the moment?

I love finding new writers, new voices and new stories that need to be told. I am also inspired by the truly interactive nature that media is taking that is innovative and breakthrough. I also love being part of the international market with our company. As CCO of 9 Story media group, I’m quite proud of the work we do, every day.

What advice do you have for others who want to work in children’s TV?

Find your passion, do the work, get into media, do any job and scope it out. Be there, observe, understand kids and understand the media landscape.

What is something you want to learn more about?

Everything! I always have a pile of books I am reading.

Any other parting advice?

Be creative, innovative and lead. Don’t follow. I’m so proud that in a world where everything in media is getting a re-boot, I’m part of an original show that is now re-booted with Blue’s Clues.

Being a follower is never as much fun and doesn’t yield as many rewards!

After Hours graphic

I’d love to have coffee with:

Oprah. Michele Obama. Luke Perry.

The books on my nightstand are:

The Artist’s Way (by Julia Cameron); Dare to Lead (by Brené Brown); Becoming (by Michelle Obama)

My current favorite saying, or mantra, is:

The Dali Lama said “Be kind whenever possible. It’s always possible.”

My favorite way to spend my day off is:

Low key day with my girls and Greg.

One lesson I’ve learned lately is:

If you fall down, get up again!

I can’t live without:

My AirPods. Music and mediation makes my travel so much better!

I feel my best when:

I get a good night’s sleep!

The post What Is Angela Santomero’s Secret To Success? Radical Kindness appeared first on I Want Her Job.

21 Essential Things to Pack for Travelling

Image of Lady departing with her Essential Things to Pack for Travelling

via https://iwantherjob.com/your-career/21-essentials-to-help-you-travel-like-a-boss/

Work travel comes with its perks like time out of the office, the opportunity to explore different parts of the country (or globe!) and hotel rooms that let you rest easy without all the work. But, work travel also can come with some challenges, because you’re away from your comfort zone and are often operating by a schedule out of your hands. From frequent fliers to road warriors, those who travel a lot for work have found the best tips we all can use!

Today we break down 21 essentials to help you travel like a boss. But this list doesn’t have to end here. Tweet us @iwantherjob and use #TravelLikeABoss to share your finely-honed travel skills. Until then, read on for some essentials to make your next work trip a breeze.

1. TSA Pre-Check

Skip the awkwardness of taking off your shoes in front of your co-workers, and get through security faster with TSA Pre-Check. In January 2019, 94% of Pre-Check passengers glided through security in 5 minutes or less. If you want more time to grab a latte, or peruse the magazine stand, it’s a must. Plus, many companies will let employees who travel for work frequently expense their TSA Pre-Check.

2. Backup USB Power Bank

With unpredictable travel schedules, you never quite know if your flight will take off on time or if work will require you to stay an extra day or two. Consider buying a backup USB power bank to keep in your purse or carry-on. Keep it charged, and you’ll be prepared wherever the day takes you.

3. Get. Rewarded.

Many companies offer travelers rewards. Make sure you add your frequent flier number every time you fly. Sign up for travel rewards from your favorite hotel loyalty program, like Best Western Rewards. Best Western Hotels & Resorts even offers Best Western Business Advantage, a rewards program dedicated to small business that offers preferred rates and automatic elite-level status.

4. Picture Perfect

Keep photos of your favorite travel essentials tucked into a labeled folder on your iPhone, or keep it handy in Evernote. However you decide to store it, taking photos of items you frequently pack (or even forget!) can come in handy when you have to pack for a last-minute trip. Take it a step further and photograph your outfits in advance, like many celebrity stylists do for their clients, making packing for future trips a breeze.

5. Lightweight Blanket

To travel like a boss, you need to pack like a boss. Forget the scratchy, germy airplane blanket, and bring your own! Flights are often chilly, and you can’t always guarantee your seatmate will keep their air vent closed. You can find affordable lightweight blankets that are super cozy at Target and TJ Maxx.

6. Crystal Light Pouches

I Want Her Job reader Laura loves packing Crystal Light pouches, because they can make any drink a sweet treat, without all the calories. They also are great to stuff in your purse or laptop case to have on hand when you want to sweeten up the standard water bottles you’re given at a conference.

7. Big, Bold Luggage Tags

Make your baggage claim experience a breeze with a bright luggage tag that is distinctly you. Brands like Lilly Pulitzer, Anthropologie and J. Crew offer vibrant colors and patterns. When traveling for personal vacation, use the card provided with the luggage tag to write your name and phone number. When you travel for work, simply slide in your business card over the top.

8. Thick Moisturizer And Hand Cream

Although it can seem like a pain to pick up tiny sizes of beloved products, it’s never been easier. Sites like Sephora, Ulta and Nordstrom offer gift sets for hundreds of brands. Most products included are easy to fit in a Ziploc bag and perfect for travel.

9. Solid Beauty Bars

Speaking of those tiny clear plastic bags, save room on your next trip by packing solid beauty bars. Everything from cleanser, to moisturizer to shampoo is now available in solid form. Our personal favorites are from Lush, and we also love that they keep our suitcases smelling fresh.

10. Noise Cancelling Headphones

They’re called the friendly skies for a reason, but let’s face it. Sometimes, we just don’t want to talk, or we want to get work done! Pack a good set of headphones the next time you fly, and whether you sleep or work you’ll have your “do not disturb” sign tucked carefully into your ears!

11. Water Bottle

We’ve all faced that super expensive bottle of water in an airport gift shop. Save your cash for shopping, and pack a water bottle. Most airports offer water fountains to easily fill them once you’ve made your way through security. Plus, some stores, like REI, sell collapsible bottles that can be easily packed.

12. Sheet Masks

Flights can leave the most moisturized of us feeling dry. As I Want Her Job reader Becca says, “Sheet masks are a must for long-haul flights!” They don’t count as a liquid, so tuck one in your carry-on bag. (And if you’re too nervous about wearing one on-flight, save it for when you arrive in your hotel room post-travel.)

13. Compression Socks

While compression socks might not scream, “I’m a boss!” they will keep you in control of your health like a boss. Plus, they can prevent your legs from getting tired and sore.

14. The Hottest Book Drop

Looking for an absorbing read for your long flight? I Want Her Job team favorites include You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero and The Gutsy Girl Handbook by Kate White.

15. Wipe It Away

Germs, be gone! We hate getting sick from air travel as much as the next person. To avoid germs, we rely on disinfecting wipes. And we wipe down everything we can, especially that germy fold-down tray.

16. Drapey Wrap

Perhaps one of the greatest in-flight essentials is a drapey wrap, pashmina or ruana. Lightweight, it layers over your favorite jeans and shirt flawlessly. It also doubles as a cozy blanket.

17. Rose Toner

If your clear liquids bag can spare the room, it’s wise to stow a rose toner. Packed with rose water, it can help rehydrate skin after a long flight. It also can help fight breakouts and set makeup. So even if it takes room, it’s multipurpose which makes it a justifiable piece for our carry-on!

18. Roll-Up Shoes

When traveling for work, often times a professional attire is required. And while we like traveling in boots, sometimes heels are a must. And when we travel with heels, we always make sure we have a pair of roll-up shoes in our carry-on bag. Our favorite pair is made by Tory Burch and looks identical to her iconic Reva flat.

19. Sunglasses

Sometimes the most obvious item to pack can be the one we forget the most often. Just because you’re in the sky, it doesn’t mean you’re out of the sun. Throw in your favorite sunnies the next time you travel. They also double well as a subtle, “Sorry I’m going to sleep” message to your seatmates.

20. USB Cable

Select airlines now offer in-seat USB plugs. Check ahead, and if the airline you’re traveling on offers them, it can help you stay charged up on the fly.

21. Tile

If one of your bags has ever been lost en route to your destination, you know how frustrating and helpless it can feel. Next time you fly, think about adding Tile to your bag! Simply activate it, toss it in your bag, and you can spot your bag in its location on a map. Now how’s that for traveling like a boss?!

With these items, or even a handful of them, your trip can be smoother and more relaxing. And, they can especially come in handy if you have an unexpected layover or request from your boss to work out of the office an extra day. Want to be even more prepared?

Sign up for Best Western Rewards, so if you find your flight unexpectedly cancelled you can find comfort (and earn points that never expire!) at one of BW’s more than 4,200 locations.

The post 21 Essentials To Help You Travel Like A Boss appeared first on I Want Her Job.

20 White Going Out Dresses – The New Black

via http://theeverygirl.com/spring-little-white-dress/

Everybody’s got their LBD — the go-to dress that’s always hanging in the closet, ready to be thrown on for a last minute affair, or the perfect solution to but I have nothing to wear! But what about a transitional piece that’s more “spring” than “fall,” and more unique than basic? Enter the LWD (or Little White Dress). Not only does it feel fresher and brighter than its LBD cousin, but it’s a little more unexpected than plain black. Pair it with a pair of heels for a night out or dress it down with booties or sandals for a summer uniform you can live in. Either way, no one will know your #OOTD is just as basic and simple as an LBD — a little secret between you and your closet. Shop our favorite LWDs that you can wear all season long:

The post 20 White Dresses That Will Make You Retire Your LBD appeared first on The Everygirl.

How the Clitoris Works – Surprising New Scientific News

Naval Orange illustrates our science article on How the clitoris works

via https://bust.com/sex/195794-how-to-find-your-entire-clitoris-yeah-there-s-more.html

vulvafruit 634f6

The word clitoris derives from the Greek word kleitoris which means “little hill”. For two millennia, we have thought that our most sensitive organ, which has no other purpose than to make us feel good, bears resemblance to a little hill. This, my friends, is depressing. Our clitoris is so much more than a little hill. Let me tell you how to find your clitoris, your whole clitoris.

Cygnet is two and a half. I don’t remember when he first found his penis, but it feels like a long time ago. I doubt he was even a year old. Cygnet and his willy are now very good friends. “Mummy, my willy is standing up” Cygnet will say. “What are you doing to your willy?” I ask. “I’m poking it” comes the response.

Brilliant!

Boys are lucky. Their sexual organ is a dangly toy to be discovered and played with from a very young age. Our girls are not so lucky. Us women have to explore, research, read and venture. The focus of sex education at school is on how to avoid having a baby, the male orgasm is key. It’s all about ejaculation.

The clitoris is a mystery. The clitoris is a new land, uncharted territory. However well acquainted you are with your clitoris, I guarantee there are facts here that you never knew. Here’s how to find your clitoris.

The clitoris is not required for reproduction. Yes, I know, you knew that! In fact it’s sole purpose is to make a woman feel good. The clitoris contains approximately 8000 sensory nerve fibres – that’s twice as many as a penis. Cool huh? So, why is it that the penis gets all the attention? The clitoris should be the star of the show, but instead she is hiding in the shadows.

Textbooks, professional medical guides, the internet, magazines, sex education in schools (that’s if the clitoris is even mentioned) wrongly assert that the clitoris is the size of “a fingertip”, “a pea”. The plethora of misinformation is mind blowing. Science has been woefully inadequate when it comes to mapping the clitoris.

In 1998, yes 1998!, just nineteen years ago, the urologist Dr Helen O’Connell used magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) to discover the clitoris. She discovered that the majority of the clitoris is actually within the pelvis. It is far more internal than external and consists of two shafts or legs up to ten centimetres long and two glans. The clitoris looks more like a “wishbone” than a “pea’. I borrowed Cygnet’s felt-tip pens and I drew you a diagram:

clit e0c7a

The most brilliant thing about the clitoris is that the super-sensitive magic button on the outside triggers the entire clitoris which stretches up and inside. The glans of the clitoris wrap around the vagina. When aroused they swell and grip the vaginal wall.

In 2009, yes 2009!, eight years ago, the world’s first 3D sonography of a stimulated clitoris showed how the erectile tissue of the clitoris engorges the vagina. The so called vaginal orgasm is in fact an internal clitoral orgasm. I drew you another picture:

clit2 9d1b0

Now I don’t know about you, but I am disappointed that I have never heard of Dr. Helen O’Connell before. Through Dr. O’Connell’s work, science is gaining a new perspective and a more accurate understanding of the anatomy of the clitoris, but more importantly, through Dr O’Connell’s work, us women are getting the chance to have a better sex life.

How on earth are we supposed to gain real pleasure from something that we don’t even know that we have, or that we don’t know to her full extent? How on earth are our sexual partners supposed to know?

Dr Helen O’Connell should be an international heroine. Her head should be on bank notes. Instead, she has this little visited website, which, and I don’t mean to insult her (she is after all my new-found heroine) looks somewhat amateur. If ever there were a reminder of the phallocentric world that we live in, it is the fact that the discovery of the entire clitoris has passed unnoticed.

Go forth ladies, go and find your clitoris, your whole clitoris.

 

This piece originally appeared on The Single Swan and is reprinted here with permission.

 

Top photo courtesy of Charles Deluvio via Unsplash

 

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The Meaning of Singlehood: Own It!

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Singleness! Singleness! Singleness!

Every unmarried sister is probably a little sick of reading about it and being asked, “How are you doing in your singleness?”, like it’s a condition or something. I . . . get . . . it!

I hear you saying, “Yet you felt compelled to write about this anyway?” Yes, I did, sis, because despite the countless books written, blogs posted, conference workshops, and ministries for singles, I still encounter too many unmarried Christian women who struggle deeply with their singleness. I so want the words of this post to cause all of my unmarried sisters to see with the eyes of their heart that being single is a beautiful and blessed place, and when embraced, it can be a beautiful gift used for God’s glory.

If you are a sister who does (or has) struggled, I hope to shift your perspective so that you can see what I see—what God sees: Singleness is a prime position to shine brightly for Jesus!

I wouldn’t dare presume that this is a simple subject. It’s very complex, with many variables and aspects to be considered, but I would like to focus on this mind- and game-changing idea: We must own our singleness!

I’m Deborah . . . I’m 53 Years Young . . . and I’m Single!

I believe one of the biggest stumbling blocks for unmarried sisters is that they haven’t really owned their singleness. I mean deep down, no reservations, fully embracing it. Say it: “I. Am. Single.” (Out loud, ladies.)

I know when you fill out applications, memberships, etc., you check the “single” box, but in your heart, do you see that as just a temporary status? One that is going to change someday, a holding place until you graduate to the next spiritual level of “married”? If we’re honest, some of us—either now or at some point, whether consciously or subconsciously—have held that perspective. 

You might say, “Yep, I certainly do, Deb. What’s wrong with that? I want to be married, and I’m believing God for a husband.” There is nothing wrong with desiring marriage, for it is a beautiful thing to desire. And there’s nothing wrong with asking God for it. What I would warn against is a heart that is demanding marriage and discontent without it. We don’t know what the Lord has in store for us, so we don’t want to insist on something He hasn’t seen fit to give us. Remember God knows best and just like with Israel, He knows the plans He has for you—plans to give you a future and a hope (Jer. 29:11).

Singleness Is Good

I’m not here to argue whether marriage is better than singleness or vice versa. The Scriptures are clear that singleness is good (1 Cor. 7:32). The challenge is to agree with the Lord on this particular word, which is what I’m hoping this post will help some of you do. It takes teaching and encouragement for the single sister (and the married ladies who may be discipling them) to see singleness in the best possible perspective so that we all can “bloom where we are planted.”

God’s promise for an abundant life is not attached to our marital status. His desire is for us to live the purposeful life He has called us to. He didn’t forget to send your husband, sister, and He isn’t ignoring your longing—but He has spoken this to us: “Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Ps. 37:4).

This doesn’t mean that if you delight in Him—finding your joy, peace, and fulfillment in Him— that He will give you whatever you want. The Psalmist is saying that if we delight ourselves in the Lord, the things He desires for us will become our desires—not the other way around.

With all this in mind, I have one point and one encouragement for you. Consider this:

One Point: Not fully owning and embracing being single can hinder your purposefulness.

Not owning your singleness could prevent you from giving all of yourself to the Lord. “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship” (Rom. 12:1). This verse tells us every Christian’s primary purpose is to glorify God with all of her life. For the single believer, this is particularly important because we can more easily give all of ourselves to the work of the Lord, whereas the married woman’s time and attention must be divided. The proverbial pie is sliced four ways: her Lord, her husband, her children if there are any, and herself. (Not necessarily in that order all the time.)

Loved ones, the apostle says that singleness is better is because it allows us the opportunity to have undivided hearts and undivided devotion to the Lord and His work. If you are single and not laying it all down for the Lord, then it may be hard for you to see or understand why it’s better. And it certainly won’t feel better.

Don’t Hold Out; Say “Yes” to the Lord

If consciously or subconsciously, we don’t give the Lord an unconditional “yes” because we are holding out for marriage, there is a temptation to say “no” to things that require a long-term or lifelong commitment, even though the Lord has called you to it.

One of the single ladies I am discipling is in the process of buying a home. She recently shared that it wasn’t until she started the process that she realized purchasing a home was something she thought she wouldn’t and even couldn’t do without a husband. It just wasn’t something she considered as a single woman. Praise God that she went for it, and interestingly enough, it was in the process that God revealed the reservation hidden in her heart. In God’s kindness, He allowed her to see what was hidden behind her fears and her own understanding.

Question: What if the Lord was calling you to the mission field, but there was a godly fella you had your eye on and he had his eye on you? How would you respond to the Lord’s call? Really think about that.

There is a young sister at my church who loves Jesus and has a heart for missions. She is hoping to go to a remote area in India with little or no Christian community. She is in her twenties and deeply desires marriage, but if the Lord clears the way for her visa, she is prepared to go. This sister wants to be married and have a family, but she isn’t idolizing it. Even if she has wrestled with the thought of, My chances of finding a husband there will be slim to none! What if my husband is here?, her willingness to trust the Lord is evident in her willingness to go anyway.

This is the important thing and what it all boils down to: Trust the Lord!

One Encouragement: Put marriage in proper perspective, and go hard for God while you can!

Because of what marriage is and what it was designed to display—Christ’s relationship with the Church—it is to be greatly honored. But honoring is not the same as idolizing, and many have made an idol of marriage. For some of us, it’s not just a desire, but it has become the chief aim—as opposed to delighting in Christ—which is evidenced by deep discontent.

I ask single ladies this question all the time: Do you really believe that Christ is enough? And when they answer, it’s usually, “I know I should, but I don’t know if I believe that.” In response, I always tell them a few things:

  • Despite how you may feel, if you have Christ, there is no void in your life.
  • Rehearse in your heart and mind that the Lord has promised He will not withhold one good thing from you if you are walking uprightly (Ps. 84:11).
  • Our God has promised to meet all of our needs according to His riches in glory (Phil. 4:19), so if you don’t have a husband, you must not need one right now.

Dear hearts, I want you to know that Christ is enough. “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence” (2 Peter 1:3). This is just one Scripture that reminds us with Christ, we have all we need to be fulfilled and fruitful. What we have been called to first and foremost is to love God with all our hearts and minds.

Sis, you do not need a husband to do that. (Yep, she said that.) We have to make a decision to love God with all that is within us, despite how we might feel, and joy will be the fruit—joy that the world can’t take away and peace! Peace that surpasses understanding and contentment! Contentment that transcends circumstances.

It’s Okay to Mourn . . . with Hope!

I know there are sisters reading who, as long as they can remember, have desired to be married with children. They watched their parents’ marriage, and though not perfect, it was godly and healthy, and it was the soil in which their love for the Lord and His beautiful plan of marriage grew. For these ones, to sincerely consider that marriage and children might not happen brings a type of mourning. As their sister, I empathize and I mourn with them (Rom. 12:15). I have been through that process myself . . . and lived to tell about it!

I want you to know it’s okay to lament and even mourn over our unfulfilled desires to be wives and moms. It really is, sis! But know God has promised us beauty for ashes (Isa. 61:3), so out of the mourning something beautiful will come. That very well could be a husband, but it might not. It might be a renewed commitment to take God at His Word. Some of us struggle to live content and purposeful lives because we simply are not believing the words of God. He created us, He owns us, and He has a perfect plan for our lives. It’s not a secret plan, my sisters, it just might not be the plans that we have. But who are you going to trust?

Here’s my final word: Marriage and motherhood are beautiful things, but they are not necessary things. They are not the source of our true and lasting joy and fulfillment. And girlfriend, if a perfect, loving God is not the source of your joy while you are single, an imperfect sinner certainly won’t be your source when you are married.

Somebody say amen to that!

For even more on embracing your singleness, check out our blog archives! Our team wants to serve you even better in this area. If you have any questions you’d like us to address in future posts—or thoughts on topics we should write about related to singleness, please write us at info@reviveourhearts.com. We’d love to hear from you!

17 Unromantic Signs He’s Your Soulmate – Knowing He Is The One

Image illustrates the article about what happens when you meet your soulmate.

via http://theeverygirl.com/unromantic-signs-this-person-might-be-the-one/

Everything from the classic love affair in Pride and Prejudice to the will-they-or-won’t-they drama of Ross and Rachel teaches us that love is supposed to be extraordinary, make it impossible to sleep or eat, and always ends with a “happily ever after.”

As much as rom-coms and the Twilight Saga would have us believe, romance is not actually always about flowers and love poems or grand gestures and public declarations. In real life, the rom-com doesn’t end at the “I do” scene, but keeps going through paying bills and tax season, through toddlers and newborns preventing your sleep for days, through terrifying health scares, boring daily chores, and deaths of the people you love.

The One you choose to spend forever with is not just your personal romantic comedy — it’s the most important interview of your life. A happy lifetime is about more than love letters and PDA, so you better make sure there’s more to your relationship, too. Here are 17 signs the person you’re with might be The One, that have absolutely nothing to do with butterflies, grand gestures, or romance.

 

1. You don’t have to pretend to be interested in them, or wish they would be more interested in you

It’s likely that you and your partner will have many different interests — in fact, you should, or else dating another you would just be boring! You may not always be interested in their passion or hobbies, but you’ll want to learn more because you know how much it matters to them, and you’ll genuinely want to be able to share what they love. You also won’t have to pretend you don’t love broadway musicals as much as you do or feel like you can never talk about the latest fashion trends that you know your partner couldn’t care less about — they’ll want to love everything you love, and talk about everything you want to talk about.

 

2. Errands are kind of… fun

Going to the grocery store, picking up prescriptions at the pharmacy, and cleaning the house are all part of the mundane routine we have to keep up with through the rest of our lives (sounds depressing, doesn’t it?). But when you do it together, there’s something inherently fun and enjoyable about the tasks that are usually mundane and tedious. Something about your partner makes even the boring feel fun, and the average seem exciting.

 

3. You don’t have to think twice about asking them for help

Whether it’s to pick you up from the airport, unclog your drain, or give you advice on a problem you need their perspective on, you don’t have to think about asking your partner for help — you just do. You trust their opinion, their advice, and their desire to care for you, without having to question it for a minute.

 

Source: @joandkemp

 

4. They’ll pick up your slack without being asked

Maybe you came home to clean laundry that they just threw in with a load of theirs, or they brought you a new face serum from CVS when you mentioned you ran out a couple days ago. It’s more than just the household chores the two of you divide up — it’s the little things they don’t have to do, but do just to make your life a little easier and your day a little better.

 

5. You can share annoyance, anger, and doubt without worrying about their reaction

There are absolutely no more deal breakers, and you know it — you can be in a horrible mood without feeling like they’ll think less of you or not want to be around you, and you know they’ll be supportive of your feelings before being defensive of their own if you experience any doubts along the way. You can be more honest with them than you’ve ever been, because bigger than anything you’ll ever say or do, you both have a shared understanding that you’re in this life together.

 

6. You both have your own thing

Whether it’s Bachelor Mondays with the girls, painting classes, or hiking trips a couple times a year, you’re both supportive of the other pursuing their own interests and having their own time alone. Time apart doesn’t make either of you insecure, and you should feel like your partner supports you pursuing your passions over their own needs. Plus, you’ll be so excited to tell them about your time apart, whether it’s to rehash the latest gossip between your friends or what you learned in painting class (remember No. 1?).

 

 

7. They’ll ask about your day, every day

Perhaps one of the most important pieces of advice I’ve ever received is to be with someone who will ask about your day, every day, and — wait for it — actually want to hear about it. If the first thing they do when they get home or the first thing they’ll ask when they call is, “how was your day!?” every single day, you’ve found one of the good ones. Trust me.

 

8. You can look at them and, for no reason at all, they make you laugh

The best friendships are the ones that make you silly for no reason at all — where you just can’t stop laughing, right? If you’re going to spend your life with someone, it better be the best friendship you’ve ever had. If your partner brings out your silliest self, and can make you laugh at nothing, you know they’re going to keep you laughing when things get hard, or boring, or mundane. Life should be about enjoyment — make a lifelong commitment with someone who brings out the most fun in you.

 

9. Bodily functions don’t make you blink

You should be able to complain about your heavy flow, or let out an *accidental* bodily function post-Taco Bell without it feeling like the end of the world. In fact, when you start doing gross things like shave their back or have them pop your pimples (it gets real) and you’re still just as turned on by each other as ever, that’s when you know.

 

10. You can talk openly about money

Besides just being a crucial conversation to have with the person, you know, you’re going to be spending your life with, if you’re able to talk about such a tough topic, it’s a good sign that you trust each other. While nothing is less sexy than the money talk (except maybe shaving that back hair), if you can share your financial past, goals, and current habits openly and honestly, and you two share financial values similar enough that you don’t go into anaphylactic shock when you hear about theirs, you probably have a pretty strong foundation.

 

Source: @kevinberruuu

 

11. They call you out when you need to be called out

“The One” will be the person who is fully dedicated to helping you live your very fullest, best, happiest life. This means that they will check you on your destructive habits and hold you accountable when no one else would. They’ll be honest with you — for the sake of making you better, not for the sake of putting you down. They’ll also stand by you, encourage you, and support you when you’re working through issues or are going through hard times without any judgment.

 

12. Your PDA is less PDA-y

You don’t necessarily need to go make out on a park bench like you’re teenagers or feel the need to post collages on Instagram with paragraph-long captions about your oh-so-perfect relationship to celebrate every monthiversary. Instead of overt PDA, you display affection by mere accident — exchanging smirks across the room or holding hands under the table. Instead of the public make outs, fondling, or displaying your love all over social media, you publicly tease each other, brag about each other’s accomplishments, and maybe steal a kiss or hug when you don’t think anyone is looking.

 

Source: @chrisellelim

 

13. Date nights out are great, but you have the most fun at home

When you can sneak away for a night out, of course it’s fun to dress up and go somewhere new or exciting. But if we’re being honest, and if we’ve found The One, the most fun “date nights” are sitting at home with a bottle of Trader Joe’s wine, laughing at The Office, talking for hours, or playing the same card game, again. The things that would sound boring to anyone else are the things you find yourself preferring over those fancy dates.

Anyone can get in the mood for romance when fancy clothing and candlelight is involved, but when it’s just the two of you, with sweatpants and take-out, and somehow it’s the best night ever, you know you could do it for the rest of your life.

 

14. You’ve developed your own language no one else can understand

If your daily conversations are laced with inside jokes, or you consistently refer back to movie quotes or moments that will have you both dying with laughter, this person will certainly have you laughing the rest of your life. You share more than the same life and relationship — you share the same humor, and that can make all the difference in the length of a lifetime.

 

Source: @m_stibbe

 

15. At the worst times, you want them there

For most of your past relationships or crushes, it’s likely that they’re the last person you would’ve wanted to be present when you’re hunched over the toilet with food poisoning or crying in your room with a bad panic attack – so embarrassing! But if this partner is the right one, you’ll find yourself calling them when you’re having a panic attack or wishing they were there when you’re really sick (and not just because you know they’d clean up your vomit). Maybe you’ve even considered putting them down as your Emergency Contact — you know that when anything bad is happening, you’ll feel more comforted and protected with them there.

 

16. You don’t question or second guess how they act when you’re not around

When a friend’s Bachelor/Bachelorette party in Vegas comes up, you don’t feel a pit in your stomach or worry they won’t behave, you’ll just be excited to hear the funny stories when they get home. You also don’t doubt that as nice and wonderful as they are to you is exactly how they act when you’re not around, too. You believe with all your heart that however they act out in the world — whether it’s to other girls, or to people they don’t have to be nice to like waiters or servers — they treat all other people with the utmost respect, graciousness, and will always do you proud.

 

17. No matter what mistakes you make or how bad you look, you know they’ll still think of you the same.

In the end, you can be your truest self knowing that’s the you that they love the most. You can make a mistake or say something mean, and they’ll still think the world of you. You can wear second-day leggings and not wash your hair for four days and know they’ll still look at you the same as when you’re in a fancy dress with a blow out. The most romantic moments of our lives are often what happens in the most unromantic times — the bad times, the hard times, the gross times, the lazy times, and the boring times. The One will still see you in those times just as they would in the best times.

Find the person who loves you for exactly whatever you are — good, bad, grumpy, bloated, messy, scattered, anxious, unfiltered — and, to use the quote from Juno that taught me the most about love, “the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass.” Now that’s romantic.

The post 17 Unromantic Signs This Person Might Be “The One” appeared first on The Everygirl.

Helado Negro Review “This Is How You Smile” Is A Journey As If In A Dream

via https://bust.com/music/195732-helado-negro-this-is-how-you-smile.html

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HELADO NEGRO
This Is How You Smile
(RVNG Intl.)

Helado Negro, the musical project of Roberto Carlos Lange, unravels the threads of Lange’s identity in a cloud of electro-anchored Tropicalia. His Ecuador/Miami/New York ties create a framework for This Is How You Smile, which Lange describes as, “the soundtrack of a person approaching you, slowly, for 40 minutes.” The dream-like journey magnifies scars and snapshots, uncovers auras, affirms familial bonds, and validates existence as a Latinx in America. “Brown won’t go/Brown just glows,” he sings on the flickering, tender embrace of ambient opener “Please Won’t Please.” Lange’s “Young, Latin, and Proud” message from his 2016 Helado Negro offering, Private Energy, is carried further into this new release, helping to reveal the hazy figure as Lange himself. 4/5

This Is How You Smile is out March 8, 2019

By Erin Wolf

This piece originally appeared in the March/April 2019 print edition of BUST Magazine. Subscribe today!

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Julianne Moore Oscar Won She Now Delights As “Gloria Bell”

via https://bust.com/movies/195736-gloria-bell-review.html

 

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Gloria Bell
Co-written and directed by Sebastián Lelio
Out March 8      

It’s rare to see a movie with a middle-aged woman as its protagonist, much less a joyous, hopeful one who laughs and dances and has hot sex with other middle-aged people—but Gloria Bell is here to fill that gap. Julianne Moore stars as Gloria, a bespectacled office professional who can’t resist a dance floor, a dinner party, or a date with John Turturro’s Arnold, a tender fellow divorcé. That’s not to say that Gloria’s life is all wine, roses, and laughing yoga. But Gloria is trying really, really hard, and you have to admire her heart even when she stumbles.

At first, it’s unclear whether audiences are supposed to be laughing at or with Gloria, but soon it becomes clear that co-writer/director Sebastián Lelio (A Fantastic Woman, Disobedience) and Alice Johnson Boher (who wrote the adapted screenplay) have nothing but love for their heroine. Moore is endlessly watchable, and she’s joined by a veritable who’s who of supporting talent, including Rita Wilson, Holland Taylor, Brad Garrett, Sean Astin, and Michael Cera, in addition to Turturro’s fantastic and infuriating Arnold. Ultimately, it’s hard not to sing and dance along with Gloria, not despite her struggles, but because they make her—and all of us—gloriously human. 5/5

By Jenni Miller
Top photo via FilmNation Entertainment
This article originally appeared in the March/April 2019 print edition of BUST Magazine. Subscribe today!

 

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Ellen Terry and Edith Craig – Mother-Daughter Duo who Challenged Ideas About Women In Early 1900s

via https://bust.com/entertainment/195735-ellen-terry-edith-craig.html

 

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Here at F Yeah History, we love women who boss at everything. Be it literature, politics, art, employment, activism – the two women you’re going to read about next had it ALL.

Star of the stage Ellen Terry and her thespian daughter, Edith Craig, were two of the jazziest, energetic, and engaging characters of the early 20th century. From defying social norms to sticking it to theatre censorship laws, Ellen and Edith shook up the world they lived in, and everybody they met along the way.

Hooked? Good. Let’s start with the mother…

IF YOU’RE A FAN OF SHAKESPEARE, YOU’LL KNOW HE WROTE SOME CRACKING LEADING LADIES. PORTIA, KATHERINE, VIOLA, SYLVIA, AND WHO COULD FORGET BEATRICE, QUEEN OF WIT AND SASS?

They’ve been portrayed on stage and screen over the past five hundred years, but never with quite as much wow factor as when Britain’s best loved stage actress, Ellen Terry performed them.

ellen terry as lady macbeth 0d79dD-R-A-M-A: Ellen as a stonkingly scary Lady Macbeth, painted by John Singer Sargent

And if you want a quick summary of how much Britain loved Ellen Terry, then here it is in a little poem written for her:

‘Britain’s pride,
The genius of the stage personified,
Queen-like, pathetic, tragic, contemporary, merry,
O rare, O sweet, O Wondrous Ellen Terry.’

Ellen Terry lived a dramatic life on and off the stage. Born to a family of performers, she became a child actress and grew up on the stage, before joining the Theatre Royal at Bristol and becoming famous for her depiction of Shakespearean heroines. 

BUT it all went a bit wobbly when Ellen turned sixteen, and married George Fredric Watts, a renowned artist, for whom she had once modelled. Watts was 46 at the time – 30 years her senior! – and the marriage was doomed (again…she was 16!), lasting less than a year.

Ellen returned to the stage, often alongside Henry Irving (who apparently inspired the looks for Bram Stoker’s Dracula, don’t you know). Henry and Ellen’s relationship was intense, and passionate; they partnered in productions for decades. 

Ellen was also close to George Bernard Shaw, exchanging letters with him for most of her life. There was even a play written about their letters! Shaw referred to their relationship as a courtship by letters, and wrote to her, in one:

‘Do you read these jogged scrawls, I wonder. I think of your poor eyes, and resolve to tear what I have written up: then I look out at the ghostly country and the beautiful night, and I cannot bring myself to read a miserable book…Yes, as you guess, Ellen, I am having a bad attack of you just at present. I am restless; and a man’s restlessness always means a woman; and my restlessness means Ellen.’

I’d say I felt sorry for his wife, but their relationship was pretty weird already…

But enough about the men. Ellen loved a romance, yes, but her career remained extraordinary. 

She was unable to resist stage life, though this was sometimes for financial reasons.

Even after giving birth to her two children with Edward Godwin (who she had eloped with but didn’t actually marry), she returned to acting and slayed across theatres in the U.K., U.S.A., and Australia.

picture 1 25552The Terry/Craig/Godwin fam: Terry and her children, Edward and Edith

Ellen was adored by legions of fans, and became the muse to many directors and playwrights. Her performance of Portia in Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice was world-renowned, and in her later years, she successfully toured the U.S., delivering lectures on the Bard himself.

Ellen’s children travelled with her as she toured the world, and as she grew older, her daughter Edith managed her career. 

Born Edith Godwin, she was keen to distance herself from her illegitimacy…and thus, Edith Craig was born! 

Ellen’s star may have eclipsed all others, but her daughter lived an colourful, unique, and inspiring life equal, if not greater, than her mother did.

terry craig 237b9The ultimate stage parent!

Starting on the stage at a young age, Edith acted, like her mother, with Henry Irving’s Lyceum Theatre, and in the plays of her mum’s pen pal, George Bernard Shaw. 

But she wasn’t going to be an actress, oh no! Edith took a very different theatrical direction. Inspired by the radical movers and shakers that surrounded her, Edith set up a new theatre company, the Pioneer Players. 

In a move to end censorship in performing arts, Edith and the Pioneer Players, well, did what it said on the tin. They put on plays that had been previously banned – plays about social reform, humanists; and, unsurprisingly, feminism.

Because what cause was flourishing at the time of the Pioneer Players? Women’s suffrage, of course!

Now, Edith was already pretty indoctrinated into the women’s suffrage movement, having attended a forward-thinking school with a pro-suffrage teaching staff, as she said:

“When I was at school I lived in a house of Suffrage workers, and at regular periods the task of organising Suffrage petitions kept everybody busy. Perhaps I didn’t think very deeply about it, and my first ideas of Suffrage duties were concerned with the interminable addressing of envelopes; but I certainly grew up quite firmly certain that no self-respecting woman could be other than a Suffragist.”

Edith was a member of the Women’s Social and Political Union, but soon left in protest at the Pankhursts’ autocratic rule and joined the Women’s Freedom League with other suffrage bigwigs, including Teresa Billington-Greig and Charlotte Despard. 

As theatre became even more prolific in the suffrage world, with plays by Ciecly Hamilton and Elizabeth Robins depicting pro-suffrage and feminist narratives, in 1908 Edith became instrumental, along with her fellow actresses, artists and playwrights, in forming the Actresses’ Franchise League. 

Apart from bearing one of the most gorgeous suffrage banners of all time (don’t @ me), the AFL didn’t use tradition campaigning tactics, but used performance as propaganda. The organization grew and got stronger, thanks to Edith’s strong, organizational mad skills.

Edith dedicated her life to challenging, questioning, and fighting social norms. With the drama and passion that her mother applied onstage, Edith applied it to fighting injustice and inequality. 

She openly lived in a ménage-a-trois with playwright Christabel Marshall (known as Christopher St John) and artist Clare Atwood, to which her brother said was a result of her “hatred of men” (really original, Edward, round of applause to you). 

Edith was a wee bit of a battle-axe; she was hard-faced and uncharismatic, unlike her mother, who once said she was too afraid to kiss her own daughter, she hated affection so much. 

Despite this revulsion for PDA and hugs, Edith was absolutely dedicated to her mother. 

She lived next door to Smallhythe, Ellen’s country house – although out of hatred for Ellen’s third husband, she built a hedge between their houses so she never had to see him, quite literally.  

When Ellen died, she transformed the house into a museum so that her mother’s memory would be preserved forever, and the story of her stardom would shine on. Though she was estranged from her brother (who was the father of Isadora Duncan’s daughter…), she continued to share the story their family’s life, dominated by their mother, by going into partnership with an organization dedicated to saving stories of then nation…the National Trust. She died in 1947. Right up to her death, she flaunted social conventions, and lived life the way she wanted to. 

Just like her mother.

This article originally appeared on F Yeah History and is reprinted here with permission.

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“Gingerbread” By Helen Oyeyemi – Review of a Sombre Story of Family, Community, and Quality

via https://bust.com/books/195723-gingerbread-is-a-deliciously-dark-tale-of-family-friendship-and-class.html

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Gingerbread: A Novel
By Helen Oyeyemi
(Riverhead Books)

In her six novel, Gingerbread, Helen Oyeyemi finds inspiration in fairy tales, as she did with her 2014 novel, Boy, Snow, Bird, and her 2016 short story collection, What Is Not Yours Is Not Yours. This time, we follow Harriet, a beautiful woman in her 30s with a teenage daughter, Perdita. Both mother and daughter are prematurely gray, and both find it difficult to make friends. Harriet still feels tied to her childhood companion, Gretel, and Perdita’s main confidants are for dolls who have sprouted plants from their bodies and learned to speak. Harriet was born in the mysterious country of Druhástrana, and fled for Britain when she was a teenager—taking nothing but a possibly magical gingerbread recipe. As Perdita grows, she yearns to visit Druhástrana to solve the mystery of who her father is. The gingerbread may hold the answer.

Oyeyemi incorporates fairy tale elements, magical realism, and multiple framing devices to draw readers deeper into her story, building up the mysteries of Druhástrana and taking the plot through unexpected twists. Fans of Oyeyemi’s work won’t want to miss it, and first-time readers will become fans, too. (5/5)

By Erika W. Smith
Gingerbread was released March 5, 2019
This article originally appeared in the March/April 2019 print edition of BUST Magazine. Subscribe today!

 

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